QuGee Updates » August 13, 2007

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August 13, 2007
19:55
Can’t get out of the thesising zone!
» ‎ talfryn.net

When my MSN auto-replies, it usually means what it says. Unless I have 1) just gotten online and have not had the chance to re-set my status, or 2) fallen asleep in front of my laptop, which is a rare occurrence. But what I mean by I ‘can’t get out’ is not that. I have even [...]

19:08
In Honour of them Photographers - 12 Aug
» ‎ To look life in the face

My quest to fill time brought me to the gates of the National Portrait Gallery today. The exhibition “Daily Encounters” was on, that depicts the rise of press photography in Britain from 1904 to 1986. It sure is astounding how we take for granted the pictures we see in the newspapers everyday. They tell us more than what is said in newspaper articles – they let us relate to the story. And the same should be said about photos we see in magazines. Even a single solitary photo has a story to tell – what then does the photographer want us to see?

A couple of things that caught my attention today:

1) 'In those early days, the press photographer was regarded as an animal almost beneath contempt' – Hannen Swaffer, introduction to James Jarche, People I Have Shot. (Almost as if photography was considered inferior to writing)

2) A photo of a newspaper boy with a Titanic headline on 16th April 1912, London.

3) During the Second World War, photos were censored by the Picture Censorship Department of the Ministry of Information. These included images depicting the destruction of British cities by German bombs, and images of British soldiers behind the lines. Frustrated, a newspaper published several blacked-out pictures with captions suggesting what they should have shown, together with one single photo of those working in the censorship department, attributing the publication of those photos to “these people”.

4) To overcome the problem above, photographer Fred Morley persuaded his assistant to dress as a milkman doing his rounds amidst a war-torn street. The censors were satisfied as it kept spirits high.

5) There was even a photo of Singapore's then PM Lee in 1965 playing golf with his son (and subsequently missing), alongside then Labour PM Harold Wilson on holiday in the Isles of Scilly. The title of the article seemed to suggest the need of a holiday for effective government. (I have forgotten the exact wording)

I am of the opinion that when the skills of a photographer reaches a certain level, of course with a trained eye, what differentiates him/her from the rest would be the depth of character. Just like an artist with a story to tell, a photographer skilfully picks a scene that depicts most the message he/she wants to bring across. The more attentive a photographer is to issues surrounding him/her, the better a story he/she has to tell.

I know there are at least two of you photographers out there who will be reading this post. What say you?

Sun Aug 12, 12:09am
19:05
Reflections by the Moonlight - 11 Aug
» ‎ To look life in the face

Mmm… I think I have misjudged once again. Or actually, not. I have seen it right from the start – the two faces of the man. By day, he talks about books, art, literature, photography and science. By night, he is an unbridled hedonist, fallen under the spell of alcohol. Or perhaps I am too much of a puritan? The only subjects that I can seem to talk about these days are klassiche musik, Dali, human rights, women's rights and whatever you see in the news. That is, apart from the usual 'So when are you going to Switzerland?' I remind myself not to question my character. There is nothing wrong with me, only that I am not the wild sort. One settles down eventually and follows the middle way. Sure, I like the occasional jokes that border on sexuality, but I couldn't talk about that all the time.

I am still not quite sure about what I want to do after my PhD. But if asked again if this is what I want to do, I would say yes. Is one ever certain about the aspirations of one's entire life? Not for me. I only ever plan a few years in advance, perhaps two or three. At present, I want to do a PhD, although what I will do with that afterwards I have no clue. I know that I love Berlin and I would like to live there, to work or to continue research as a postdoc. But that is uncertain. That would depend on what I find in Switzerland. But of course, if one asks what plans I have for Switzerland, they are apart from my PhD 1) Learn French to conversational level, 2) Volunteer for an NGO – either human rights or environment, 3) Learn the Cello, 4) Brush up on German to conversational level. Will that be too much for me to take? I seriously doubt so if I manage my time well and most importantly that I do not end up making the same mistake as I did when I escaped from Singapore to London.

Am I to find an answer to (my) life in Switzerland? Perhaps. I am a strong believer in fate – it has taken me thus far and it will take me further. Just live life squeezing every single drop out of it as I can. Already fate has proven that it was meant to be for me to come back to London for this Masters degree. I could have started my PhD without coming back. But circumstances had it that I to return, simply because it is compulsory to be holding a Masters degree before being eligible for a PhD in continental Europe. And this past year has seen many happenings. For one, my take on relationships have changed dramatically. Sun diagnosed me with 'emotional projections'. On this matter, I cannot tell you more what QuGee means to me. In my latest acknowledgments, “…Finally, I would like to show my appreciation to everyone in QuGee for helping me find my place here today.” And I mean it, because QuGee has helped me fill that last void, and encouragement from Sun to write more. Yes, write more and make more music! If I have too many emotions, I need to release them somewhere. Even now as I am nearing the end of my stay in London, I am learning. I have realised how lucky I am to be me, how lucky that I have the parents I have, how selfless they are. I have come to terms finally with what I have run away from in Singapore four years ago. And just now, I am realising how much I have depended on QuGee as my only social circle and that I need to widen it. Be brave, I say to myself, for you have to live independently from now on. Although, I have to say that it is not 'moving on'. These two words cannot be used in this context. They can only be used on the one person I have said goodbye to this past year, but they will not and shall never be used on QuGee. My QuGee will always be around, near in spirit, I will always be loved by them. It is just physically impossible to be together, but we will always be linked by that special bond. I have never been this close to anyone, less to say any group of friends in my life - nobody can replace them. In a nutshell, I have found myself by coming back to London. I have found myself and this has given me strength to start a new life in Switzerland, this has also given me strength to hang on to what I have in London that I promise I will never let go.

ZJ ever said to me that everything changes, that the only thing that remains constant is change. I wonder at that – how true those words are! And this next bit are my words – change is a force so disproportionately strong that makes man succumb. One of the most basic needs of man, apart from food, water and shelter, is companionship. Because human beings are social animals. We need company. Society pressures us to find company. But we, being the brainy creatures that we are, set standards for ourselves and for our companions. (Those selfish set standards for their companions and not for themselves.) And we know that once these standards are not met, we can potentially pay the price emotionally. So it is essential to uphold those standards. Therefore, lowering these standards and succumbing to loneliness is one of the biggest weaknesses of man. And it cannot show more by a change of environment. I have done it once, almost four years ago now. I have lost a lot, but I have gained a whole load more than that. I have seen two people going to Japan, one succumbing to that almost immediately and perhaps only falling forever, and the second who I have ultimate respect for, who has picked himself up again and again and who will soon return a much stronger man. So I brace myself now. I need to set standards. And I have an advantage because I know literally what lies ahead of me across those Jura mountains – the people, the culture, the place. So I set standards and I will need to check myself for a period of time until I finally settle in. I cannot afford to fall with what I have learned here from QuGee. I will be strong, and I will finally do what I want to do. A few weeks ago I told A “…I have only just learned to enjoy life this year!” Oh how true these words are and how they ring in my ears again and again! So let this be a reminder to myself.

And let this be a reminder to myself not to lower my standards. For myself, for those around me, and for any potential companions. I was posed with a question a few weeks ago “… if you could have accepted B then, why can't you accept xx?” Which shocked me to the core. As T said, it is a complete waste of time and energy to enter into a relationship where one cannot possibly see a future. And I know I am tired of these emotional upheavals. So let it be a reminder to me, in my reflections, under the moonlight of a midsummers night.

11 Aug, Sat, 2:08am
18:48
Summer of ‘07 - 9 Aug
» ‎ To look life in the face

The summer of 2007, my last summer in London before I embark on my PhD degree in Lausanne. I am 23 now, recovering from a year of never-ending research projects, rebounded from three years of emotional suppression, only just revamped my wardrobe with clothes a size bigger, and enjoying every single bit of life. Alas! It is to be my last summer here. Due to circumstances (the course schedule) I am to stay here for three weeks before my final two vivas. Forced to take a break then, and for once stop and observe in detail everything around me. The colours, the music, the air. And write those letters that have waited too long. I will remember, besides throwing back the windows to welcome the fresh morning air and the early sunshine across Hyde Park, how it feels running through abundant, surging emotions and penning them down, nibbling on fresh fruit. I have been working on Debussy's Clair de Lune, and have managed to just stitch together all the parts today. And ran through it once in front of him, creating discordant music. In the setting sun we sat on an empty bench beneath the Queen's Tower, a gentle breeze blowing, savouring our biscuits - Wife's biscuits. How this can be compared with any experience in Lausanne by the lake with someone else in the summer I don't know. Because there are six elements – heaven, time, place, luck, people, harmony. One cannot recreate an experience because one of them is bound to change. But what I treasure most is the company, and what I wish for is only to have the same company in a different but similar setting.

9 Aug, 12:24 am
18:45
A Secret Garden - 8 Aug
» ‎ To look life in the face

A secret garden I call my own
Where I sow the seeds of memory
With flowerbeds never empty
And trimmed bushes of Evergreen
A pond of water lilies cradled within
Above which Venus hovers serene

A secret garden I call my own
Which hides away the disarray
Of stinging nettles and ailing shrubs
That threaten the mirage of love within
They lie beyond the stoic façade
Of solemn hedges of Evergreen

A secret garden I call my own
That heeds the tempest summoned on me
To create a ripple of damage unjust
That one could see if more than glance
Of fallen petals and naked twigs
And burning shrubs that lie within

A secret garden I call my own
In June again the roses bloom
To mask the twisted growth beneath
And Venus grey and over-grieved
In praise again the deed is done
A seed is sown, a worthy one

12:11
When you think Japan…
» ‎ Wanderer

Do you think money? Do you think Food? Do you think Temples and Shrines? Do you think Scenery? Do you think Festivals? Do you think high speed trains? Do you think crazy foreigners? Do you think photography? For me, there are too much to think about and remember to. For now, a review of my time in Japan in this album.

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QuGee Updates » August 13, 2007

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Can’t get out of the thesising zone!

In Honour of them Photographers - 12 Aug

Reflections by the Moonlight - 11 Aug

Summer of ‘07 - 9 Aug

A Secret Garden - 8 Aug

When you think Japan…