The Annual General Meeting (AGM) is over and it is now time for me to retire. To withdraw myself from office which I should have done a year ago. I think I came back half-heartedly, with no full commitment. The intention was to help out with my experience, but somehow I tried not to intervene. Perhaps because I imagine myself often to be part of the founding committee, not the current (and soon to be outgoing) committee. Believed in letting them run the society their way. I knew that some things could have been better, some things just wouldn't have worked. But I never gave warning. And the only time I tried to intervene - during LIMUN - was probably frowned upon. LIMUN. The same people making the same mistakes. Repeating it for two years in a row. They never learn do they?
It is also time for me to retire from the lab. This project has been much better than the last. A new start, a good start. It has come much further than I'd expected. Now effort is to be put in to bring it to completion. Everyone will be leaving, including me. Four out of five of us, in total. And a lab mate will just be a passer-by in my life. I am much more… emotionally healthy this term as well. I've had much more breathing space. Events have unfolded slowly too, and I finally see my impatience. I need to slow down in every aspect of my life, especially this…. Time and patience, and the need to better understand oneself. I love being in control of myself and my own emotions.
Which is why I will soon be ready for the next big step in my life - to leave the hustle and bustle of London behind for the serenity of Lausanne. For soul searching. To come to terms with myself and to start anew. And as Omar said, to not let anything stop me from pursuing my dreams. Especially emotions, especially those I cannot handle. It is time I be selfish. It is time I withdraw that facade, that public face which seems so much more sociable than it actually is. The shell one may think I am retreating to is non-existent. I would much rather think of myself retreating to a different world…
Imagine there's no Heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today
Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace
You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one
Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world
You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one
Imagine, John Lennon