A progression so fast and furious as this needs to be checked for fear of an anarchy of the mind. Conflicting thoughts and attitudes rage in a war of self-denial against recognition. The recovery phase has reached its peak and a state of the mind surfaces that has for so long been buried under layers of rubble. "Tread carefully for the mind slides easily from reality. Wave them about no more, pen them down in detail and create a vision."
(The above was written almost a month ago now)
Few know myself better than I do, and fortunately there are a handful around me. It is not so much that I let my guard down in their company - some of them see right into me. It is a pleasure being diagnosed about my state of mind by one who is clear about his own thoughts. Because isn't it how it starts? One has to help oneself before others.
Perhaps it's time to identify the root of the problem - that being psychological projection. My prescription is to write, and to write in detail I must. Which perhaps calls for multiple levels of restriction as one tends towards enunciating the internal monologue. Even so, one has to allow the flow of emotions and not to stifle them, but to watch the rise and ebb of these waves. Excessive energy should not be quelled, but spent on other activities. Understanding the self is the core issue here.
On that note, I wonder if the internal monologue is enough to quench the thirst of a creative mind? Must one, or should one conduct useful dialogue, or do meaningful actions, or even make ideas known through media and the arts? And what would be the outcome of a Kunstler(in) as such living in an oppressive state such that there exists not even the freedom of thought, what would be his/her fate? When such a right is taken away, when that right is regarded equivalent to the right to breathe, to eat, to live, to love… (Das Leben der Anderen) How can one then draw the line between a human and an animal?