All things are transient, be it times filled with sorrow or happiness, be it peace or hardship. And this fact has been hammered into me such that it is glaringly obvious, surprisingly by way of an MRes degree with three project rotations. Because once you get settled in a lab you have to move again. "Move on, move on", time urges, and every three months I reset the clocks, I start anew, a new lab, a new project, new friends, new benchmates… One should not be nostalgic, one should not reminisce. Because in the process, one misses the "good old times". And for one who hardly remembers the bad days, not because one gets over them, but because one is simply forgetful, the past should not be dwelt upon.
So what was I thinking when I changed the radio station to 'Magic 105.4'? Recreate those times in the Flowers Building? What was I thinking when I planned to work here again 'because this is where it all began and this is where it all should end' as T is doing as well? And what AM I thinking now? Because it is all different here than it was at the Flowers Building. It is different from what it was two years ago. You walk in expecting to see the same people, breathe the same air, feel the same atmosphere as you did two years ago… but it is not there anymore. And there isn't even an empty hollow, because it has been so quickly filled with something else. Sure, the bottles of agar are labelled 'SX LBA 22/8' bottles of agar made in the summer of 2005. Labels that have dried and will likely stick for another 10 years before they are peeled off easily from repeated autoclaving.
The heart has such longing for the old times, but it should be at peace. The senses are now accustomed to a familiar smell of cologne, familiar footsteps, familiar faces. But the mind understands that these habituations should stop, that they should be forewarned, because such things are transient. And such habituation gives way to obsession, and succumbs to disappointment and heartbreak. My time left here is short, our time in this world is short, and the soul moves on to accomplish much more than is already done.