I guess the joke is this. Ha Ha Ha. The funny thing about life is how you go about doing your everyday business and you fail to see where you are going - at least for some of us. Was a little flustered today over the various things at work. Downed 3 cups of coffee and 2 cups of fairly strong tea. I was in this hyper mood of sleepiness. You can tell if you are sleepy because you want to sleep, but the caffeine pumping around the system is like this person holding your eyes open with one hands and slapping you with the other the whole entire day. The worst thing about my life right now is my mattress. It is a bit dented at the middle - Jac if you thought yours was bad wait until you try mine. When I lie there, I feel my back doing a 3 dimensional bending in 2 axis. Its seriously bad for my spine. So I roll out of bed at 4am, and I wanted to take out the airbed because the airbed is seriously so much better than my mattress. When I say my life is quite bad I mean it - I’ve been spoiling myself on keeping myself entertained like buying 23″ Samsung monitors and PS3s. But when it comes down to the essential, I spent 5 pounds on 2 lousy pillows and the mattress which came with the room is so bad that it doesn’t matter how you flip it it will definately give you back pain in the morning.
So, I’ve officially decided that I need to move on in my career line rather quickly because I don’t like being in the bottom of the food chain. It feels like you’ve got this bursting energy you’re trying to get out of your system, and you look around you in this big fish tank, and all these big fishes swimming about and I feel like a clown fish. This is NOT because I am particularly funny - having said that, there is a guy around me who looks like a clown and I cannot stop thinking that he would make a perfect clown. I didn’t dare say because he is one of the big fishes, can eat me if he wants - as I say - bottom of the food chain - almost like algae and plankton: graduates! I do really like my work though - not really a stand up comedian job, but an Engineer. Well, it comes to a point when people don’t see you as an Engineer. I am just some IT person, who can’t really program. Well I can, but you know - big fish, small fish - we’re all fish. Same thing.
I really need the control over my own work - I’m quite possessive I think. I like to have dominion over my own responsibility. Some would argue that dominion in itself is a responsibility - but I would like to have responsibility over my responsibility. This leads me to talk about team player. I think its important to build trust with the team you are working with. I had a go at some of my colleagues/friends today over work. I think when I take my work seriously, I take it very seriously and I will do it well. So people around me will get quite annoyed over how serious I get because they find it difficult to meet my expectations. So I decided to chill out - downed another coffee, got a few more slap in the face by caffeine.
They kept shoving me cake today. But I’ve decided I will stay away from cakes because of the sheer size I have grown since I came back to the UK. Its amazing how much 2 years could do. How I wished I could have Japanese food everyday. People get a little disturbed over raw fish and tentacle-ful things. Wait, “a little disturbed” is putting it mildly. They pull their face, stick their tongue out and look at you like you’re some Martians who came to this civilised world of Earth and tell them your staple diet is some slimy maggots or something. I guess I like my salmon raw - they keep me fit. What can I say?
I have come to really integrate into a multicultural foreign land, I think. When you tell them you’re half Chinese, they start to ask you whether you know Kung Fu and gets very disappointed when you couldn’t catch a fly with a chopstick. I’m talking about clinical stereotype here. The real stuff. Almost like people looking at you strange when you tell them you come from America but isn’t fat. I miss my own people, where are you all out there?! The weird and wonderful who loves everything - the true treehuggers. A colleague told me today - I had Chicken Chow Mein and I never thought Chinese food can taste so good. Then when I asked him whether he tried duck, he looks at me funny and said “how can you eat duck?!” AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Seriously, I am about to burst. This conformation of civilisation is like a joke. It is a joke.
If you have time, check out Shappi Khorsandi - a truly great comedian.