I’m of the view that whilst it is a loss for those around the deceased, what we can do for the deceased does not lie in what we think the deceased would have liked if he/she was still alive, but rather to facilitate the deceased in his/her journey into the afterlife. That to have the deceased facilitate the timetable, convenience and emotional need of the bereaving is somewhat wrong. We will ultimately follow this path of death in the end, would it not be better if we are to be assisted to moving into the new life rather than being pulled back from what is to come?
Said Ka’b [al-Ahbar], ‘When the righteous bondsman is laid in his tomb he is suurounded by his righteous acts, such as his prayer, his fasting, his pilgrimage, his engagement in the Holy War, and the charity he used to distribute. Then the Angels of Chastisement approach him from the direction of his feet, but are told by Prayer, “Get back from him, you have no authority over him, for upon those [feet] he stood in me at length for the sake of God”. Then they approach him from the direction of his head, but Fasting says, “You have no authority over him, for in the world’s abode he thirsted at length for the sake of God”. Next they draw near to him from the direction of his trunk, but Pilgrimage and Holy War say, “Get back from him for he exhausted himself and wearied his body when he accomplished the Pilgrimage and the Holy War for the sake of God; no authority do you have over him”. Then they approach him from the direction of his hands, but Charity says, “Back! Retreat from my master, for how many an act of charity issued from those two hands to fall in to the hand of God (Exalted is He!), while he acted only for His sake; no authority, do you have over him”. Then he shall be told, “Rejoice! Good you have been in life and in death!” Next, the Angels of Mercy come, and spread a heavenly cloth and resting-place out for him, and his grave is widened around him for as far as the eye can see. A candle is brought from Heaven, and from it he has light until God resurrects him from his grave.’
Al-Ghazali : The Remembrance of Death and the Afterlife