The assumption that brands equals quality is in my opinion is a semi-false pretense. Whilst statistically speaking, one may agree with the observation that academia with a long lasting name such as Oxford or Cambridge University produces the best graduate, one cannot rule out the possibility of the existence of other graduate who are of high calibre. These couple of days I have been bizzarely troubled by an imaginary barrier which is created due to my inability to prove myself by a representation of a big name. I feel somewhat strangled by the meritocratic society in which we are rewarded based on a piece of paper we hold at the end of 4 years of really hard work. I tell myself its Qadr, whatever happened happened for a reason and there was no way it could have happened any other way. Yet, it doesnât stop me from thinking, what if? What if I had stuck to my decision to do Maths and Philosophy and chose Oxford instead of Cambridge â that perhaps I would have graduated with jobs lining up for me. There is honestly no point of looking back. However the truth was, I chose what I felt was the right thing to do, i.e. choose a more âsocially acceptableâ subject to study, e.g. Engineering, accountancy etc etc. instead of what I wanted to do â Philosophy, religion, politics, economics etc. I was always told, you can always go from Science to Humanities but you can never go from Humanities to Science [To which, I really find it very difficult to agree with - because most of the skills I developed in A-levels such as cross-referencing, analytical thinking in terms of presentation of ideas, not mentioning my eloquant English, have been lost to the endless maths equations I have been forced to commit to memory and now I find completely useless]. Whilst university was supposed to be a place for yearning for knowledge, I find myself struggling to keep up with the curriculum. I wasnât given the room to think or perhaps I just wasnât interested enough to even think. Having said that, in my final year when I did put my heart to it, I did manage to get 72% for my final year project. As Oasisâ song goes, donât look back in anger, I honestly feel there is no point of looking back and thinking what if.
Instead, I am going to think positively. I am stuck in my current position because like my friend said, we are born into debt. The society requires us to stay put because without the financial backing, there is no point of persuing dreams, let alone happiness. I canât help but think of Marxist comments about Religion being the opium of the people: By making the mass believe in salvation in the afterlife, people stop finding hope in this life and rather in the world after. In a way, the rich will be able to control the poor by telling them, stay put. There are a lot of problems with this argument, nonetheless, historically speaking, religion has been a tool for the powerful to control the masses. In this Godless society (I am not saying that God does not exist, but rather the society rejects His existence as being the imaginary âspeghetti monsterâ astagfirulliah), where the ultimate deity is money â we are geared towards worshipping of money. We are programmed to believe that without money, we will not feel secure, we will not be safe, we will not be happy. So, I am going to start by rejecting this notion that if we have money, all our problems are solved. Whilst I agree that money can bring a level of comfort in my life right now, the only reason why we believe problems will be solved is because we are living in a money-driven society. This is the problem of the egg and the chicken. We are living in a rat-race where the Oxbridge graduates are at the top of the pack, and everyone else is struggling to climb an imaginary ladder which is controlled by the Oxbridge graduates. SighâŚSorry I donât mean to be so anti-Oxbridge, 2 of my very good friends got into Oxford and I am very happy for them. Perhaps I am now just generating theories to make myself feel betterâŚ
Either way, my point is, I have decided to stop looking for brands, and Iâve decided to stop pretending life would be much better if I had done Philosophy instead of Engineering. Iâm going to start going through the Cambridge year 1 Philosophy (Ethics) reading list starting from Repsonibity and Voluntariness. Iâm going to read Peter Strawsonâs âFreedom and Resentmentâ and beg this question of freewill, thesis of determinism and console myself that perhaps the option for Oxfordâs Maths and Philosophy was always an illusive dream.