I remember I had a Canadian Maths teacher in year 10 who would turn the room to a freezing temperature. Then he would come up with a very complicated maths question and he would point randomly at you and say “You answer. Come on, Focus!” Even though most of my classmates openly loathed his military style Maths lesson, I secretly really enjoyed it because it allowed me to really stretch intellectually.
I went swimming today despite the fact that it was freezing outside and I felt somewhat unfit having just lounge out the whole weekend without much exercise. My insomnia due to my self-induced stress had made me rather tired today. I was trying so hard to stay awake on the icy road on my way back home. Rather unsafe thinking back at it. When I was swimming, I find that the state of my mind really affects my performance. Whilst usually I would have the determination and focus to finish a 1.5KM swim non-stop, today I struggled to swim 500m. I couldn’t figure out why.
Then I found something I thought I lost many years ago.
I felt blood pumping through my veins again. Perhaps its a sense of hope induced by recent events, but I realised what I missed most was being stretched and challenged in an unimaginable way. I felt the sense of ambition flowing through my veins again. Yes, its of worldly ambitions, but nonetheless because I feel so under-challenged in my current job, I am starting to feel dead.
I often remind my friends and colleagues of the time when I was in Africa (and I guess to a large extent Australia as well) and how ‘alive’ I felt. I was back in the wild, put into an environment where I am not spoon fed every little information I need/don’t need to know through a handheld device; where I was given a piece of bread but not a choice of 50 different types of bread; where life was place in perspective.
When I was swimming, I was reminded of the need to focus on an aim. I realised that without an aim, you can start wandering lost, you loose the momentum and slowly and slowly you start feeling like a lost spirit, a sheep. Blah, I should avoid using languages such as sheep because we are not sheep…we are all individuals who have the cognitive ability to think and have the ability to command a change.
PME: Positive Mental Energy.