As I am about to sleep tonight after a rather un-productive day, I have thought through many things which are bothering me and deciding how I am going to take effective steps to change it.
I have decided that I shall not return to my old ways. Instead, there must be a way I could realise things for what they really are but not the way I think it ought to be. Honestly, I am stuck in such a conundrum for so long now that the only way I could get myself out of it is by unwinding everything and begin to see it from another perspective.
As human beings we have the capability to extend our thoughts to interpolate our own version of reality based on the existential information we have. For instance, looking at a basketball, we can assume that because we see one side of the sphere, that in fact the basketball is spherical. Likewise, we do a a lot of assumptions on the reality based on the way we assume the world works. E.g. Tomorrow I will wake up at 8am to go to work, have lunch with the same colleagues I have lunch with and then come home. The fact that this happens routinely and periodically, I use the past information to predict what is about to happen. However, it is also because of our dependence on the ability to interpolate we fall into the trap of accepting our immediate situations. At least speaking from experience, I find myself finding new ways to escape the so-called ‘real world’.
Back to the idea of interpolation, I had a slight paradigm shift today whereby I start to see realities from a different angle. It is then do I realise what a fool I have been for a while. A fool I say! I really don’t understand the world. I feel extremely ignorant in so many respect that I want to dig a big hole and bury myself in it. Yet, the luxury is not mine to have.
I have decided to become more me. I will stop brushing people away. I will treat people nicer. I will smile more. I will make an effort to say good morning to people in the morning. I will put on less of a mask to people around me. Just be genuine…I guess if I approach everything with a pure heart, the truth will manifest itself.
I need Divine guidance, but the question is, even if the guidance is given, do I have the wisdom to follow it?