I realise today that my will to stay away from people has intensified. I made a graph of what I think my will to spend time with people and time spent thinking about spirituality against how much I socialise and anti-socialise. I find that the amount of “real energy” depends on how much I want to spend time with people and how much time I actually spend with them. Then the “spiritual energy” depends on how much time I spend away from people thinking. Energy = the integral of the will spent with people with respect to time spent socialising. In other words, my life is dependent on people and without people I have no real energy.