In a short duration of 1-2 months, I feel as if my world is turned upside down. I have been socialising in very different circles. I have become (even more) religious. I realised I no longer search for anything tangible in this life.
I try psycho-analysing myself sometimes. I realised that a combination of events leading up to maybe around June this year has āpushed over the edgeā. I just know deep inside that I have to move on in life. By āmoving onā, I mean changing the way I think, the way I act, my general attitude towards life. My āprevious lifeā was rather miserable. I was always chasing after people, chasing after their approval. Now looking through facebook, it is rather strange and awkward that things which used to get me excited now seems like a distant past. I am definitely happier now as a person, something which my brother testified to. Perhaps I have gotten used to the idea that everything is out of my control. The more I try to control it, the more I will get upset about how I canāt.
I can be apologetic about who I have become, but I am not really sorry. I have been fasting the whole of this week. During this week, I have been trying observe my mood, and it is clear that it is not the same as Ramadan. There are a lot of things left to learn, and it seems like a very long road ahead. Now that I have started walking it, there is really no point of looking back.