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For my own reminder:

We certainly gave the Book to Musa (Moses), but differences arose about it; had not a Word gone forth from your Rabb, the matter would have been decided between them regarding those differences. It is a fact that they are in suspicious doubt about this,[110] and it is also a fact that your Rabb(lord) will give them full measure for their deeds, for He is fully aware of what they do.[111] Therefore, stand firm on the Right Way as you are commanded, together with those who have turned from unbelief to belief in Allah, and do not transgress; surely, He is watching all that you do.[112] Do not be inclined to those who are unjust, lest you be seized by the fire; and you will not have any protector besides Allah, nor you shall be helped.[113]

11:[110-113]
Differences arose about the book given to Musa for his followers’ lack of belief

Establish Salah ( prayers) at the two ends of the day and in the early part of the night. Indeed virtues remove evils. This is a reminder for the mindful.[114] Be patient; for sure Allah does not let the reward of the righteous be wasted.[115] Why were there not among the generations before you, good persons who could forbid the people from making mischief in the land, except a few of those whom We delivered from among them? The wrongdoers, however, pursued the worldly pleasure they were provided, and became confirmed criminals.[116] It is not possible that your Rabb would destroy the towns unjustly while their habitants were to mend their ways.[117]

11:[114-117]
Virtues remove evils and Allah does not let the reward of the righteous be wasted

If your Rabb had so willed, He would have certainly made mankind one single nation but that is not what He wants, so they will continue to differ[118] except those on whom He has bestowed His mercy; and that very freedom of choice and action is the whole purpose of their creation. That is how the Word of your Rabb, that He will fill Hell with jinns and human beings all together, will be fulfilled.[119] All these stories of the prior Rasools that We relate to you (O Muhammad) are to strengthen your heart therewith; through these you have received the knowledge of reality and the believers have gotten admonition and a reminder. [120] As for those who are unbelievers, say to them: “Do whatever you want, and so shall we.[121] Wait if you will! Surely, we too shall wait.”[122] Allah Alone has the knowledge of what is hidden in the heavens and the earth, and everything shall ultimately return to Him for decision; Therefore, worship Him and put your trust in Him, and your Rabb is not unmindful of what you do.[123]

Strange that I wanted to blog twice in a day after not blogging so much in so long. Tomorrow or Thursday is going to be the beginning of Ramadan. For those Muslims who read my blog, Ramadan Mubarak to you, and may this Ramadan bring you a spiritual uplifting stronger than the previous one. For me, I have been really looking forward to this year’s Ramadan. I feel that my eeman (faith) has been dropping for a while now. I am hoping that I could once again have the determination and strength to read the Holy Quran again in its entirity like last time. Last year was the first time I had really benefitted from the month. It really propelled me to a new spiritual level (and in turn reflects in my happiness) in the year before. I know for sure I am not prepared spiritually for this year’s Ramadan for there are too much distractions in the Dunya which at times makes me feel takes my thoughts away from God, although when I do I often remind myself.

What really propelled me to write this blog post…let me see. Ramadan is not all I wanted to talk about, but rather I want to take this opportunity to summarise some recent thoughts. Out of all my friend in the UK, I have perhaps left Hong Kong (or home) the least. I was having dinner with a couple of my good friends from QuGee last weekend, and there was a point where we were talking about the best times and worst times of our lives since we left home. For me, definitely the 3rd year at uni was my best year by far. I had the opportunity to work closely with my housemates who we eventually branded QuGee, hence the domain of my blog. On a sidenote, I just realised how strange it is that I thought I had known everyone who is in QuGee from the start of uni, and I just realised I had only known Jac through ICMUN. Just like YGG found YSS through ICMUN - Blah…I’m not saying anything. Just an interesting thought I never actively thought about. Wang Yan (YGG) and I were looking through some house-trips we made to Italy, Switzerland, Germany and Austria in our first 2 years of uni prior the 3rd year. Although we all (except for Vincent and to small extent Terry) looked a little bit older and wiser, the friendship between those who stayed in the UK remain as strong as before. We still meet up each week, go yum cha sometimes, go dinner sometimes, just hanging out at home sometimes. My mum said to me that we were closer than us and our extended family in Hong Kong - which is very strong already. Meh, perhaps I am just a very family-orientated person, I just need to have that security there.

Just got a text message telling me Ramadan Mubarak. I guess relating this back to the paragraph above: I have never really grown up in a truly Islamic Environment where I had the priviledge of having a lot of Muslim friends around me. This year, I have 2 really good Muslim brothers who I talk Politics with, talk religion with and to a small extent ‘talk cock’ with. They keep me sane in an insane world in many respect. I have instigated this question to them, its always easier to be a hermit, and stay within your family, your group of friends, your community without needing to mix in the wider society - in that way the deen (the practices/belief system/way of life) of Islam will/can be preserved. However, you will never really have the trials and tribulations as such - surely those who dare to get out of their comfort zone and triumph in the wider society by preserving the principles/practices/temptations will succeed to a higher level. Anyway, I am feeling I am walking a fine line in the types of things I want to acheive in my life, but it will be good if I can come up with a new appreciation for life/religion/dunya.

There is a chinese saying - Only if you have perserverance, you can turn a metal pillar into a pin - I always ponder on that saying. I think you have to have a clear goal defined, and your mind must always be set on that goal because if not, you will loose it. There are a lot of ideas out there in the world today which can mislead us although it sounds like a truth (even within the branding of Islam) - but in the day and age we live in, its very difficult to tell the truth from falsehood. All I can say is live according to the principles which is defined by the lives of the prophets and the laws in which God has given to mankind. I am too much of a sufi -> I always look for signs from God, and I believe that whatever is good your heart will tell you so. I definitely have a stronger heart than before, more pure. I just hope if I follow my heart, truth will find me. I guess we all live our own version of the truth until the truth finds us.

Ok, I need to go to the mosque and find out if Ramadan starts tomorrow. I have been procrastinating for too long. Again, Ramadan Mubarak - Blessings for the month of Ramadan.

伊斯兰教基本的信条是“万物非主，唯有真主，穆罕默德是主的使者”这样一段清真言，在穆罕默德传教过程中，这一信条逐渐发展为穆斯林的“六 大信仰”。既笃信安拉、天使、使者、经典、后世和前定。 　　(1)信安拉。尊信安拉为唯一的主，坚决反对多神和偶像崇拜。在经堂语 中，称安拉是“无形象、无方位、无比拟、无匹偶、无所在而又无所不在、不生而又不被生、超然绝对、 自在永恒”的创造宇宙万物的唯一主宰。“信 主独一”，是伊斯兰教的第一个基本信条。 　　(2)信天使。按伊斯兰教讲，“天 使”是供安拉驱使的差役。一般穆斯林所熟知的是“四 大天使”：哲不勒依来，专为安拉向穆罕默德传递“默 示”；米卡伊勒，专司人间衣食供养；阿兹拉伊勒，掌管人的生死；伊斯拉非勒，司风雨，也是宣告世界 末日来临的司号者。 　　(3)信使者。伊斯兰教认为，“使 者”是安拉的钦差，是安拉差遣到人间来“治 世安民”的伟大“先知”，中国穆斯林称之为“圣人”。自人祖阿丹以来，安拉曾派了许多“使者”或“先知”向 人类传布“正道”，而上承“列使”正统的穆罕默德则是“最后的使者”，或者叫“封印的圣人”。中国穆斯林称其为“至圣”即在他之后再无“使者”，任何人也不能称“使者”。否认或以任何其他方式反对穆罕默德“最后使者”的地位，就不能算是穆斯林。 　　(4)信经典。《古兰经》是伊斯兰教的主要经典，伊斯兰教认为《古兰 经》是“安拉的语言”，是降自安拉的“真经”，是最完善的一部“天经”，它的内容主要有以下几个方面：一是伊斯兰教的 信仰及其制度；二是有关当时社会问题的各项主张；三是《古兰经》本身的一些说法和穆罕默德为传教需要而引述的各种先贤故事和传说；四是关于同多神教、犹太 教信徒的辩论和斗争；五是有关穆罕默德私人生活和轶事的记述等。除《古兰经》外还信“圣训”即穆罕默德言行录。 　　(5)信后世。伊斯兰教的信条中也有生前和死后的“两世”之说，认为穆斯林有“两世吉庆”，即今世和后世都是吉庆的。今世和后世的吉 庆是指以勤奋诚实的劳动创造美好的、幸福的现实生活，对社会做出贡献，穆斯林若行“善功”在后世经过审判，可复活进天堂乐园。伊斯兰教还宣传“今 世暂短，后世长久”，要勤于斋拜，否则死后就下“火 狱”。 　　(6)信前定。即信世间一切事物都由安拉预定和安排的。认为世间一切事 物，包括天地万物，人的富贵贫贱，吉凶祸福，生死寿限等，皆由安拉的意志决定，自身无法改变。 　　这六大信仰，是伊斯兰教的基础，接受了这六大信条，就是伊斯兰教的信徒。如果不仅承认这六大信条，而且在行动上也完全实行穆罕 默德规定的“五功”，那就成为一个完全的穆 斯林。

作者：民宗局

Such, then, was their fear of death. But nowadays never do you see a group of people attending a funeral without the majority of them laughing and enjoying themselves, speaking of nothing but the inheritance and of what [the deceased] has bequeathed to his heirs; the sole thought in the minds of his friends and relatives being of the devices by which they might obtain some share in his legacy. Not a single one of them (save those whom God wills) meditates upon his own funeral cortege. The sole reason for this is the hardness which has afflicted people’s hearts through their many acts of disobedience and sin, whereby we have come to forget God (Exalted is He!) and the Last Day, and the terrors which lie before us. We have taken to playfulness and neglect, and to busying ourselves with that which is of no concern to us. We pray God (Exalted is He!) to rouse us from this heedlessness! For truly, the best of states in those who attend funerals is that they should weep for the deceased; moreover, if they had any understanding they would weep for themselves rather than for him.

Ibrahim al-Zayyat once watched a group of people who were praying for God’s mercy upon a dead man, and said, ‘It would be better for you if you were to pray for mercy for yourselves. For he has now been delivered from three terrors: the face of the Angel of Death, which he has now seen, the bitterness of death, which he has now tasted, and the fear of death, from which he has now obtained security.’

I was watching Riz Khan on youtube. For those who don’t know about Riz Khan, he is a talk host on Al-Jazeera who talks to people about issues in the world whatever they may be. This time they were talking about Islamophobia. Here is the link if you should in interested:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ipkXAqZnyQ&NR=1&feature=fvwp

I could go on here discussing about the existence of Islamophobia in the west and so forth but I will talk about something else: Christianity groups being persecuted in the Muslim world because of their beliefs. Although I believe in the truthfulness of Islam as the religion, it is true that in this day and age, there exist severe alienation of non-Muslims in major Muslim states such as Egypt, Morocco etc. So is it right that Muslims should have such a loud voice in condemning the western politicians for a lack of dialogue?

Muslims in the west enjoy much freedom. Much more than even moderate Muslims in the Muslim world. For example, Women rights in Afghanistan - the appalling ways women are treated in some parts of the Muslim world is scary. I was just in the mosque praying my Tawarih prayers and an uncle next to me started talking to me in Urdu. Realising that I couldn’t speak Urdu, he said something in English I barely understood but I suspected it was to do with the way I prayed. In this mosque - remember High Wycombe was where 2 of the men convicted of conspiracy to blow up transatlantic planes using liquid explosives came from - people have a very unique mix of culture and religion. It is not an English speaking mosque and the Friday sermons or Khutbas are delivered in Urdu (sometimes I forget I am in England and think I’m in some rural part of Pakistan). I could understand from just these months of practicing Islam in High Wycombe that sometimes it could be difficult for me even to practice Islam in the Muslim world. So imagine what it would be like for the Christians living in Egypt for example. Some Muslims, according to my ex-colleague from Nigeria, would go out to kill because they are Christians.

This is by no means correct way in which Muslims should conduct. Have a watch of this emotional speech by Yasir Qadhi - he was the Sheik who talk me Tawhid (oneness of God) and Aqeeda (Islamic Theology) a few months back:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0kqmaxWQ_8

Don’t be put off by his display of emotions and perhaps there would be things you should not totally agree with. However, I want to point out a few points he made which I found to be essence in understanding the social message of Islam. Mercy was always practiced in the Muslim world for 1000s of years even in war. There is a very strict code of conduct in war and treating prisoners of war in Islam, one perhaps the blockbuster The Kingdom of Heaven has demonstrated shows the mercy of Muslims towards other faiths. Even in the Ottoman empire, Jews and Christians were free to practice. Taking for example the Ashkenazim Jews (who lived in the Northern Christian world) and the Sephardi Jews (living in the Islamic Empire), the Sephardi Jews had enjoyed much more freedom and wealth than their counterparts in the North. So the questions I always ask is, is there still a Muslim country - a true Muslim country who condones a diversity in faith especially those who are considers the people of the book (Jews and Christians)? I think Malaysia is very close to being ideal. Although there are still some problems, the way Malaysia is run, its the closest in my opinion to a Muslim state.

However, having acknowledged this fact, does it give us the rights as Muslims in the west to speak out against Islamophobia? I’m reading a book by Tariq Ramadan from what I have read so far, it reminds me of hint of Jewish enlightenment scholars such as Abraham Geiger  who sought to integrate Jews into the wider German society back in the 1800s. (Bare in mind this was around 100-150 years before Hitler’s Germany) Of course Ramadan is much less extreme, but I have yet to finish the book to be able to comment on it further. I am just afraid with the rise of Islamophobia in the west and the need for Muslims to integrate into this society will give rise to another outbreak of world war 3. Well, for me it doesn’t matter because I believe in the antichrist and the messiah so it will probably all come to the end very very soon anyway. If antisemitism and Islamophobia are on the rise perhaps this shift to atheism shall signal the last few days of our world. Have a read on Islam Eschatology.

Surely We have revealed this (Qur’an) in the night of Qadr.[1] And what will make you understand, what the night of Qadr is![2] The night of Qadr is better than one thousand months.[3] The angels and the Spirit (Gabriel) come down with every decree, by the leave of their Rabb,[4] that night is the night of Peace, till the break of dawn.[5]

We don’t know when this night is, but we know its one of these nights in the last 10 days of Ramadan. It is the night when our decree  or destiny for the rest of the year is revealed to the angels. Its the last 10 days…Its easy to loose sight of the purpose of this month but I’ve been doing well and doing alright, just 10 more days.

I made a point in an earlier post that to have knowledge comes with great responsibility. Let me explain this case of mine further. It was told to me on one of the Islamic conferences that knowledge can be split into secular knowledge (like how to operate a washing machine) and religious knowledge (like what happens to our soul after we die). To acquire secular knowledge doesn’t improve one’s faith, whereas to acquire religious knowledge it lifts you to a new spiritual level as testament to these first few days of Ramadan.

I feel the urge to write this blog post not because I see that by writing my views it would convert any of my readers but its another account of another phase in life. I was listening to a lecture today by an American Imam (religious teacher) about the prophet (peace be upon him). He made a point that the life of the prophet (pbuh) had always been an oral tradition. That Islam, and I shall translate it as any eternal knowledge, is ultimately preserved by the people. Therefore, to have knowledge necessitates the responsibility to transfer this knowledge to mankind. I am still in an infant stage of my religious life and there is a big part of me which is too scared to take on more knowledge because of the responsibility which comes with it. Perhaps I am over analysing this point as I often do. However, I feel an uplifting spirituality in these 5 - 6 days of Ramadan which I have not felt in a very long time, and its making me happy.

I do not want to go into discussion of religious matter because I feel that I simply don’t know enough to preach. I am in a stage where I am just listening and taking in all that I can. I am just thinking of what it must be like for Moses (peace be upon him) at the presence of God and the enormity of responsibility with such a truth being presented. I can totally understand why God doesn’t just show up in front of us because its too much for our soul to bare. I know its definitely too much for me to bare.

Lately I have been seeing this life in a different light, and I can just begin to comprehend the tip of an iceberg of what life is about. It is different to feel the certainty of a hereafter, an afterlife. The teleological me would tell me that every action in this life has a consequence in the judgment day. However, this new view presents the world to me as of itself - that this is not all of it. If we can understand this is the whatever happens in this world is merely a second or two in a larger timescale of things, then the significance of everything material in this life becomes insignificant. Therefore, we must seek to hold on to the eternal truths, such as love, knowledge, faith.

Faith increases and decreases with life experience. It was said that the mountains do not want to bare the burden of faith which men is given. I can totally understand why. Sometimes I wished that I was not given the choice to believe, that God made me an angel whereby his commands would be absolute, that His grace would be a sufficient fuel. However, I know that a knife would not be sharp unless sharpened, so our souls need the necessary challenge in order to prove itself worthwhile.

And the fast continues…

Of His signs, one is that He created you from dust; and then behold you men are scattered throughout the earth. And of His signs, another one is that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may find comfort with them, and He planted love and kindness in your hearts; surely there are signs in this for those who think about it. And yet others of His signs are the creation of the heavens and the earth, and the difference of your languages and colors; surely there are signs in this for the knowledgeable. And among His signs is your sleep at night and quest for His bounty during the day; surely there are signs in this for those who pay heed. And of His signs is the showing of lightning, in which there is fear as well as hope, and He sends down rainwater from the sky and with it gives life to the earth after its death; surely there are signs in this for those who use their common sense. And of His signs are the firmly standing heaven and earth by His command; then as soon as He will summon you out of the earth, you shall come forth at one call. To Him belongs everything that is in the heavens and the earth; all are obedient to Him. He it is Who originates creation, then repeats it; and it is easy for Him. To Him belongs the highest similitude in the heavens and the earth, and He is the All-Mighty, the All-Wise.

Ar Rum: 20-27

Why am I embarking upon this discussion again at this point in time? I guess the reason is Livia just showed me a program on channel 4 made by Richard Dawkins on darwinism. I am not sure if those outside the UK would be able to see this, but if you do get the chance, its worth a watch in your free time. http://www.channel4.com/programmes/the-genius-of-charles-darwin/4od#2919523. It may seem, from his arguments that religious beliefs is one which is not worthwhile considering when science blatantly have the truth manifesting itself so beautifully.

I guess then its really the classical argument of religion vs atheism. Lately my grandmother had been suffering from a brain tumor, one which you may have gathered from my previous posts in the blog. In recent weeks she had developed a rather strange behaviour, similar to those who suffer from dementia. It was at that point I started to beg the question of mind and soul. That if we were indeed created by God and had our souls blown into us (souls not being a part of God but a creation of God unlike beliefs of Pantheists), what would such mental illness represent in the greater scheme of God’s plan. It was an interesting point that Dawkings represented in the program - that evolution was not part of a greater scheme of things, that it was nature’s way of selecting the fittest for survival. That it was all random. He went into more depths than I originally anticipated. For me, a non-biologist, evolution made more sense to me after watching this film. I could understand why some of my friends who study Biology and evolution become skeptical of religious ideals or have troubles with what it teaches. After watching the program even though lately I had a stronger faith, I had to question. I guess its the combat of doubt that we find certainties in what we believe.

As you can tell from reading my blog or knowing me in person, I have always been a thinker. I find comfort in finding a space where I can suspend comfortably in. I do not intend to come up with a satisfactory answer for everyone nor do I want to impose my philosophy onto my readers. I have graduated from a scientific establishment - probably one of the best in the world. I have many friends who are biologists and ecologists. What is interesting to see though is that the life within such establishment does not separate from the belief in God. Religious societies are amongst the strongest societies in the university. It is strange to think that top-notch scientists who devote their time in the advancement of science are also such strong believers. Einstein, although not an evolutionist, was the famous person who coined the phrase, “God does not play dice.”

There are two possible ways to view religion (out of many) I suppose, one views it as the ultimate truth - words from the one Creator who creates the world the other views it as a product of human imagination that God is a product of human evolution. I guess it requires a balance between the both and really finding out the truth. A friend of mine used a buddhist teaching of the arrow and the doctor to make an analogy between finding the truth is secondary to the practice of a religion. That you should let the doctor remove the arrow before it kills you. But I do think it is important to know that the doctor is the right doctor for the task because the wrong doctor can ultimately cause more harm than good. I came across an interesting article on the web: http://www.masud.co.uk/ISLAM/nuh/evolve.htm. It tries to answer in a more scientific way how Islam and evolution are compatible. I am a Muslim and ultimately I will be biased. Just as you talk to Richard Dawkins, he’ll persuade you that you are delusional to believe in God, I will present a more Islamic version to why I believe science and religion are compatible and science is an evidence for the truth.

With all the DNA profiling and mapping, it is very easy to see that closeness we are to our relative apes and so forth, and it seems quite stupid to say hey, because the Qur’an, Bible and the Torah tells us that God created us from clay and blew into us our soul for Islam, and in His image for Christianity and Judaism that all these scientific truths are irrelevant. Its more hypocritical to believe that I am loosing hair because of hereditory reasons but when it comes to DNA profiling that evolution mustn’t exist. My belief in Qadar (or predestination in some translation) suggest that God had created everything before it was created. That is why from a scientific point of view, everything can be evolutionary and random if we look at it from this point in time. Because human beings are ultimately limited by our sense in time, we are unable to grasp actions and intentions which are done in a timeless environment. A bit like Dr Manhattan I suppose. So when we are talking about this evolutionary process lasting for millions and billions of year, in an alternative spectrum, this would be an instantaneous sample. Forgive me because I am a signal processing person and we sometimes like to think in time and frequency domains. To some of my readers they may find it difficult to imagine - but for me, evolution can be merely a result of a perspective prolonging in timescale from God’s creation. That if God had created Adam and Eve and a dinosaur then I guess the dinosaur must have been created in another era as we know it, but for God, perhaps He saw no need of informing us of dinosaurs because it is of no real relevance to us for our time-limited minds.

I am talking of time before Einstein proved that light could be a particle most people used prisms to differentiate the different frequencies of light wave. Just because we couldn’t prove God’s existence does not necessarily mean that God doesn’t exist. The very existence of scientific anomaly, aka miracles, do not necessarily mean they are product of imagination and tools of political and economical power. I have great fear of a purely material world where death means the ultimatum for our mind and soul. I guess one has the right in taking a sample of scientific evidence and extrapolate it on a theory which seems to make sense, as Newton did with the apple and gavity. But perhaps there is a greater scheme of things which is beyond our current understanding (e.g. as we learn with General Relativity). The beauty of the human mind is we are able to think for ourselves. For me, religion explains a very great deal - perhaps from a scientific point of view its of little value, but if we are indeed as God told us, was given a conscience at birth. Our consolation of this conscience lies with the morality and action we perform. God has chosen those He chose to guide and those He choses to misguide, and for those whom He choses to guide, none and misguide and for those whom He chose to misguide, none can guide - what is the scientific prove for His choice?

I realised after 2 weekends of intense Islamic course that on one hand I love the fact that I am learning so much correct information about my religion, but on the other hand I realised that with knowledge comes very great responsibilities.

I didn’t take that from Spider man although I did watch it a couple of weeks ago. I mean now that I have correct understanding of this religion and what is expected of me (from God), I cannot let Him down for I will be questioned on the day of judgement what I have done with this knowledge.

It is not my intention to convert anybody through these blog posts for God only guides those whom He pleases, but I feel as most of you who read my blog are of close friends and relatives I believe that it is my duty to convey some true information about Islam. So in doing so, I can help you understand my faith and also allow you to further understand references to Islam on the media.

Of course, I am only a Muslim who knows so much, there are a lot of which I do not know, and only God knows best what I do not know. So if there are something I am incorrect about (even some statements on this blog in the past), please understand that I am by no means a full representation of Sunni Islam.

If you had ever fasted for a very long period of time (lets say 1 month) or deprived yourself of liquid for a long period of time, the hunger you feel becomes numb, and the thirst you feel becomes numb. For me, I have become numb to the fact that I have been deprived of knowledge. But one would say to me - hey, you have just completed a degree from Imperial what are you on about, EEE is probably one of the most intensive course you would ever take. How could you be deprived of knowledge?

There are generally 2 types of knowledge out there: secular knowledge and religious knowledge, and it was the religious knowledge I have been so deprived of. Furthermore, it was I who deprived myself of this. I remember this feeling I am feeling today as the days when I did A-levels Religious Studies. I just came back from a 2.5 days of full on 9 hours/day of Islam Course called the “Light of Guidance, Fundamental of Faith 101″. A world-renown Sheikh (given as a title to the elders of the tribe, but now to an Islamic Scholar): Sheikh Yasir Qadhi [can click on his name for a wiki link] from Texas, yes, Texas in USA where George W. Bush is from, is giving a 2 weekend long course on the fundamental iman (faith) of Islam. For the first time in more than 5 years I feel myself in this state of piousness, peacefulness and calmness that I cannot explain. I started another post regarding a personal miracle I have experienced but I don’t think I have time to finish that today. It will only take time before I can really sit down to write a few proper blogs on some of these concepts after I do more reading and research into it.

One thing I want to mention which I find very interesting after attending his lectures that I want to share at this point in time. It is the belief that everyone is born a Muslim. With this knowledge which he gave me perhaps I can shed a few lights upon this issue which I had not been able to explain before. Its the idea of Fitrah, which can loosely be translated as “conscience” in English. That God created each and everyone of us with this conscience, and with it was the embedded knowledge of a God. So, I found it very interesting when I was told that in fact the belief in God was the single most logical thing which the Qur’an assumes. It was only recent history when we found the concept of atheism, I believe its during the European Enlightenment, the late 19th Century when German Philosophers such as Nietchze and Feuerbach purpose idea such as “God is dead”. Indeed, we saw the consequences of such dangerous ideologies leading up to World War II. But by any means, we are subconsciously aware of a supernatural being by birth, and without the influence of the world, everyone will become a Muslim by name, which literally mean “The one who submits to God”. I’ll expand more on that in future posts.

To finish off, I just want to finish off my analogy I gave on the beginning of my blog of the numbness you feel. The thing was, after 9 whole hours for 2 days, I feel that suddenly I am awake again. The world makes sense to me again. I have goals in life again. It feels like the first breath of air after being nearly strangled to death. I know now that there is so much to learn, and this is just the mere beginning.

Perhaps little do people know what my true dream is. When Lester and Jac kept pushing me to read the Alchemist, I wasn’t expecting much from that book. At the end of the day, most people just considered it as a fancy story with an instilation of hope. Indeed it was a fairy tale.

In this day and age, and the society we live in, it is very easy to just say we believe in something without really believing it, or rather treating faith as a side ornament which one look at when they feel like it. It is easy to call oneself a Christian, Muslim, Buddhist etc. without actually going to the church, mosque, temples and living a religious life.

After moving to High Wycombe, and meeting some Muslim friends, I have finally decided to be true to myself, and asked myself what it was that I really wanted in life. The answer always lied in living a more religious life. For a long time, I had always been very skeptical about what it means to be a Muslim – all the seemingly overwhelming political stance which comes with it, all the language and cultural barriers. However, today I am very happy with where I stand today, and in fact nothing much has changed. My world view remained the same, I am still politically neutral, and perhaps I am more tolerant to other people’s faiths and beliefs today than I had been.

Being a Muslim for me, is surprisingly simple. Its all about following the 5 pillars, that is 1) The belief in 1 God (Shaahada) , 2) Praying 5 times a day (Salat), 3) Fasting in the month of Ramadan (Swam), 4) Paying Charity to the poor (Zakat) and finally 5) Going on the pilgrimage (Hajj). Perhaps the biggest change is the fact that I now keep to Halal. That is all meat which is slaughtered in God’s name. I think I have given myself too much excuse in the past for not following Islam as strictly as I should have. Maybe it was the roast duck and the japanese gyu-don. But I am confident that nothing much will change at the end of the day. One thing I am more certain now than ever before is my tolerance towards other people, and I have not felt so much at peace as I have in these couple of months.

Other than that, I am having a very simple life nowadays. However, I think the simplicity comes from the fact that I have nothing to worry about, and that everything is taken care of. Of course the world is no where near perfect, news on Al-Jazeera and CNN brings more bad news than good ones nowadays. Yeah, I am estatic that Obama won, but I also see that the world is as messed up as it had ever been before. Why are people even protesting against the execution of the 3 Bali bombers? At the end of the day, if they took what is supposedly God’s judgement on their own hands, they themselves would be judged by others as well.

Its quite amazing that I am walking down the streets of Colombo without really noticing people with big guns anymore. The other day my friend pointed to a coconut and asked me what it was (well, coming from Scotland, its understandable), so I said “That is a coconut, and over there is a man with a big gun.” Oh well, that adds to the fun I suppose. Yesterday as me and my Indian friend went to the mall in a Tuk-Tuk (3-wheels motorcycle rickshaw), we got stopped at the check point. He forgot his passport and I got asked a lot of questions. I get a mixed feeling about the tye of treatment I get for having an English accent. One is a sense of respect from the people around me, but from the government officials, its more of a “what do you want from Sri Lanka.” Perhaps its the colonialism which left the country in bits and pieces. The Tamil Tigers are still fighting up North. But I have been told that we don’t get targeted because they don’t want to make a big scene internationally. But then again, I look relatively local, despite the westernised look of jeans and t-shirts – I am still an Asian.

This idea of ‘absolute’ has always been a great interest to me. Today after going to the Masjid after leaving it for more than 1/2 a decade, this thought of why I am suddenly so much happier came up. I was once again enlightened by God’s glory. Moreover, to think that I can consider myself again as a believer of a monotheistic God, and to be able to be “good” again just bring a smile to my face.

There would be a lot of things people reading this blog won’t understand. For many, God is a superstitious being out there who can bring about so-call miracles - and to believe in such a being is basically unscientific or irrational. Many people, including some of my closest friends choose not to believe in God and choose to follow a path which is more rational and logical. Right now, I really cannot give a totally logical answer for the existence of God, and I don’t think that most philosophers tried but failed. But for me, God exists irrespective of the proof of His existence. If we can’t even prove that anyone except ourselves (really) exist in this world, it is impossible to prove God’s existence.

I would rather like to think of it as a sort of absolute goodness, as an aim. If we choose not to believe that everything in this world is relative and that there is actually something it is relative to, I think we can just about see that there exist a being of such good attributes that we can be a service of.

Two other things entered my head today. One was salvation, and the other is original sin. These are Christian ideas but interesting yet to think about them. I was thinking if this world was not made for salvation, and that there is nothing we are saved from, then what is the purpose of this life? Which brings me to beg the question: Are we born good. I asked Vincent the other day whether he believed that we were good by nature, and he answered we are neutral. I rather want to believe that we are born good since we are all created in God’s image, and we are given some sort of feedback (our conscience) to assess how good we are, and our guilt works to counter it. Of course, this is all theory of my own, don’t quote my religion on it.