The difficulty is as often in children’s relationships with their parents as it is with their peers. They seem unable to label their feelings accurately, showing instead a sullen irritability, impatience, crankiness, and anger – especially toward their parents. This, in turn, makes it harder for their parents to offer the emotional support and guidance the depressed child actually needs, setting in motion a downward spiral that typically ends in constant arguments and alienation.
Such parents are typically disapproving, harsh in both their criticisms and their punishments. They might, for instance, forbid any display of the child’s anger at all, and become punitive at the least sign of irritability. These are the parents who angrily yell at a child who is trying to tell his side of the story, “Don’t you talk back to me!”
~ Daniel Goleman