To look life in the face

I resolve to have:

8 hrs' beauty sleep
9 hrs' work in the lab
2 hrs' MUN-ing
2 hrs' QuGee Intl
2 hrs' work at home
1 hr for myself

This was just a random thought.

This site needs a revamp on its contents. There are bigger issues to talk about other than relationships. I will come back to that when the time is ripe, but in the meantime while recovering from a report deadline and a viva, here are my thoughts on home and where I belong…

"How should I express myself? I have never thought about this issue until just now when you posted this entry. So let’s see…

I firstly congratulate you for being ‘International’. I used to belong to Singapore, until I came to London. Then somewhere from 2-3 years ago I felt I belonged to Singapore. Now I am convinced I don’t. Now after some thought about this issue.

And it depends on your definition of ‘belonging’ as well… For me, I cannot ‘belong’ to Singapore any longer because I cannot see myself as a typical Singaporean. It is not that I refuse, but I cannot. And you are not too, you are not typical Hong Kong-er or Londoner or Japanese. So am I. So in my definition, we don’t ‘belong’ anywhere.

When I look at my family, even, they don’t ‘belong’ to Singapore. My mother is far from being a typical Singaporean and I am sure she is ready to move anywhere anytime. So even when I look at my family, I don’t feel Singaporean.

I am sure, Kamil, that what you feel is the result of being ‘International’. That is your sacrifice, to give up where you ‘belong’ for a wider view of the world. This level cannot be attained by just anybody, and when you have seen for yourself all the beauty and the ugliness of this world you find you cannot ‘belong’ anywhere. But take note that when I say ‘belong’, I don’t mean to say ‘home’.

Also, don’t let your environment rule over you, in influencing where you think you belong. Don’t let the pressure of society force this answer out of you. Don’t let the fact that QuGee being in London rule you to say you belong to London. QuGee itself has already attained international status and will be international.

Like you, I fear myself in Lausanne. I fear that I will think about where I belong, about how left out I will be when everyone else is in London. Take pride in whatever you are doing, wherever you are. Your life is now in Japan, so embrace it! You do not move on from good friends, and good friends do not move on from you. Whether things will stay the same between two people (or between you and everyone else) is up to you and everyone else - it takes two hands to clap!

Kaiting and I never grew apart. We grew together, even if we are not going to the same school anymore, not going out every other day of the week anymore. I have faith it will be the same for everyone in QuGee, no matter where, no matter how, when we meet again - trust in us

On a final note, ‘home’ to me is now Singapore, but my heart belongs to QuGee!"

I have just finished two books: The Hours by Michael Cunningham and Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami (a present from Atsuko and her family - thank you!). I'll comment on these later, though very controversial issues on sex, I have to say!