To look life in the face

Got my results yesterday, as well as a call from the Swiss embassy almost at the same time. It is time to leave London, it is time to move on to the next phase of my life.

It is to me almost like a rock star who's retiring at the height of his career. Everything here has ended on a high note for me. I used to believe so strongly that there must be some reason why I'm going to Switzerland. Yes of course I still believe that, only that I actually forgot there was an even more obvious reason why I came back to London to do this MRes degree! I could have started in Switzerland long ago. But yes, I came back, not just to get my Masters degree, I came back to gain my confidence. And now I have it, together with such lovely experiences over the past year, and it is now time to leave. 

And perhaps now is the time I face my past in Singapore as well. Globalisation in the form of facebook has dug up some old contacts. Time to face them as well.

This reluctance to leave… it's not that I dont' want to leave. I WANT to go to Lausanne, I am unafraid of what lies ahead. And I know it is the time to leave. It is just my reluctance to leave the memories behind. Still, heed the signs. It is time.  

Do we keep changing or do we grow to become more of who we are?

Just took a test after looking at Kamil and Jacq's blogs. I'm an INTJ:

"INTJs are introspective, analytical, determined persons with natural leadership ability. Being reserved, they prefer to stay in the background while leading. Strategic, knowledgable and adaptable, INTJs are talented in bringing ideas from conception to reality. They expect perfection from themselves as well as others and are comfortable with the leadership of another so long as they are competent. INTJs can also be described as decisive, open-minded, self-confident, attentive, theoretical and pragmatic."

Introverted, iNtuitive, Thinking, Judging

Same as Jacq, but I feel Jacq is a much stronger INTJ than I am. But looking at my new self though, the self I have rediscovered gradually these past few months, I am turning more and more into what is being described here…

Wiki, TypeLogic, Personality Page

I agree very strongly with some aspects of the INTJ character, particularly in the pursuit of perfectionism for myself and for those closest to me, particularly in a partner to the point of being demanding. Also the lack of sensitivity, and my intolerance towards inefficiency. Relationships wise, it is true about spending a great deal of time and effort and in the willingness to "work at" a relationship. What I didn't adopt though, was the ability to leave a relationship that isn't working, although I'll probably do that without hesitation from now on. Sun said though, right at the start in early December that I would move on and recover very well which I have, and how Sun could tell my type I don't know still, and I'm amazed! How did you do it?!

Other things include not recognising authority based on tradition, rank and title, and also being naturally comfortable with close friends, but trying to be more sociable because it is "useful to learn to simulate some degree of surface conformism in order to mask their inherent unconventionality."

But what happens to the emotions? Do we find an outlet? I usually let them out in the form of writing or music. Doesn't say though in the MBTI.

The INTJ type usually associates with other NT and NF types. Will be interesting to know about your type, whoever's reading this, and also those of my closest girl friends. Don't mean to be sexist, I'm just curious!